Reflections on the Evolution of my Martial Arts Training

As I begin the process of preparing for my next Dan testing which will hopefully occur later in 2026 or early 2027; I find that before I can focus on achieving proficiency with my new material I must address and confront the mental and spiritual doubts that litter my path forward, and which to degree hamper my efforts to refine the material I have learned to this point. From my earliest days training in Soo Bahk Do back in the 1990's have always harbored a kernel of self-doubt, and a marked lack of self-confidence about my abilities. My inherent lack confidence in my ability to reach a level of proficiency is inextricably linked to the natal physical disabilities that I possess and work to overcome on a daily basis. Part of my evolution as a practitioner of Soo Bahk Do has involved embarking upon training to become a qualified instructor in Soo Bahk Do. I must confess that this pathway is both rigorous and daunting. My greateat fear is that no matter how hard and vigorous my training regimen is that I will ultimately fail disappointing my instructor who have patiently invested a great deal of time and effort in molding me into a respectable practitioner. My ultimate goal is to become a practitioner who brings honor, and esteem to the dojang where I train, and my instructors.